Three Moons
by wren10514
Summary: Three months in the life of the puppies. [mild slash, siriusxremus]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: characters are not mine - I just mess with them.

**Three Moons**

November

As Remus walked wrapped in his thick wool cloak towards the Whomping Willow he tried not to look back. He knew he wouldn't see anything anyway – the guys were under James' Invisibility Cloak – but it unnerved him to know that people were following him even if they were his best friends. It was the first time Pomfrey was letting go to the Shack on his own and he was torn between wanting to keep some privacy for his transformation and desperately wanting someone to be with him as he tore himself apart – just the once, just so he would have one time when he didn't have to bear it on his own.

Carefully dodging the half-heartedly swinging branches he pressed the knot in the tree and heard its sigh as its boughs settled peacefully. Slipping through quickly, he heard the others move up closer behind him so they would be able to fit through, nevertheless he heard as one of them got hit by a fast-awakening branch. Once they were all safely in the tunnel Remus paused to let them take the cloak off, which much fumbling and cursing.

"Next time you're transforming Pete! There's no way I ever want to be that close to either of you ever again!" James exclaimed.

Sirius just laughed as he tried to extricate himself from the folds of the cloak, while Pete slunk up beside Remus, away from the confusion of James pulling and Sirius struggling.

Remus threw his head up suddenly, seeming to stare up through the ceiling of the tunnel. Sirius tensed as he saw the humour die in his friend's face. "We're running late." And suddenly he was running down the tunnel, stripping off his cloak to leave it strewn vaguely near the door. With a brief glance at each other the others followed, pounding after him towards the Shack.

When they got there they found him already in his room, his clothes strewn all over the floor and furniture, some looking distinctly ragged from his haste to get them off. Remus himself was curled on the floor, rocking back and forth, nails lifting out chunks of the ancient, decaying carpet. His eyes screwed shut, his face mashed into the floor all Remus could do was yell "Change!" at them before his own transformation overtook him.

He kept his nails biting through the carpet and into the floorboards as long as he could to stop himself tearing at his melding flesh. He heard himself scream, but couldn't stop it or the sobs that tore out of him at the thought of his friends seeing him this way. All at once he felt a cold nose prod his side and he let go of the floor to lash out blindly only to have his wrist neatly caught between sharp teeth, just loose enough not to break the skin. As he looked round into Sirius' doggy face he felt the fur rush in a wave down his back and his eyes change to wolf-yellow. He screamed once more as his arms and legs finished their adjustments to become fore- and hind-legs, but by that time it came out as more of a howl, one which Sirius joined him in – mourning his pain and greeting the moon in the same breath.

They frolicked the night away, Remus revelling in having his friends with him as he always did at this time. Bloodlust nagged at his mind, the smell of his human friends would have driven him to insanity, but the smell of his animal friends had become like home to him – his pack with him always. He and Sirius took turns chasing Peter and dodging James' growing horns and he stretched his wolf muscles luxuriously, revelling in the strength and ease of movement, sniffing out strange smells in his home and snapping up a mouse who had ventured into the wrong house. One of the things that sometimes distressed him the most was how much he was coming to enjoy his wolf times; how he was starting to merge more and more with the wolf. But in the middle of the night, with his friends around him he couldn't seem to care too much.

That all changed as the moon set. The winter had made it a long night, but even still it had to end eventually and soon enough Remus felt his transformation pains start again and howled at the injustice of it all. His fur itched and his more lupine mind couldn't stand it. He tried to resist it, but soon enough he was scratching long gouges out of the floor and tearing his fur out with his claws. While his thick wolf pelt held up he would be relatively safe from his own claws, but the transformation was taking fast hold. In the last few months the calm he had felt at spending his time with friends had been enough to help him keep his wits throughout the worst of it, but now there they were, watching him, watching his body betray him and he clawed himself as much out of the frustration of it all as at the shifting feeling under his skin.

Then there was a big furry presence on his back, pushing him to the floor and knocking some of the wind out of him. His arms (for arms they were starting to be) were pinned out to the sides and his legs were caught uncomfortably underneath him while Sirius panted hot dog breath on the back of his neck. He bucked and writhed under his companion until the worst of the pain was over and he had a human throat once again, and then panted, "Sirius get off. My joints…then can't adjust with you on top of me."

Sirius hurriedly got off and Remus cried out as he rolled onto his back releasing his shoulders and hips to pop naturally back into place. Finally it was over and he simply lay there panting, tears running down his cheeks. When the big black dog lay down and sniffed at him cautiously Remus could only manage to roll on to his side and bury his face in the fur, words of reassurance lost to him. The dog sidled closer, blending slowly and gracefully to become Sirius lying down with him and pulling his robes round to cover them both when Remus shivered violently and started to tremble.

"Pete, grab his cloak from the tunnel will you? James, give me a hand."

And then were cradling him as gently as could be managed to the mattress that always laid waiting for him in his room for when he couldn't move any further after the change. Pete came back and the cloak was wrapped snugly round him and he fell dreamily asleep to the sound of familiar voices…

2


	2. Chapter 2

December

Heartened by his prompt report to the Shack and his ability to take care of himself without her help Madam Pomfrey had declared that Remus was now allowed to deal with the full moons on his own, as long as he reported to her immediately if he found he couldn't cope. That said the others weren't so sure that he and Sirius should be on their own for the full moon during the Christmas holidays: they knew the real reason he was doing so well was because he had company, but things had gone wrong before and if they did again it would take more than just Sirius to keep the wolf in check. Still after many promises that he would run for his life and not try and confront a serious pissed-off werewolf on his own if it came to it James and Peter left for the holidays with their families. Sirius had no desire to see his family, although it was doubtful whether they would have accepted him home over Christmas anyway. Remus on the other hand was going to miss his parents this holidays, but with a full moon coming right in the middle of the holidays he felt it would be best for all concerned if he stayed out of the way.

Sirius tried to forget about his parents as much as possible, but he felt himself turning more and more bitter as Christmas day approached, and he found he hated himself for missing them. In order to distract himself he decided to explore every inch of Hogwarts. He was sure there were plenty of secret rooms and passages they hadn't found yet and he was determined to find them all. He took Remus along with him on these excursions, dragging the prefect into every forbidden room and marvelling at the way he could puzzle out some of the passwords and magical locks they found.

As the full moon approached however, Sirius became calmer, letting Remus rest as he needed to. He took to the library for long hours while Remus napped in the common room, drawing out much of what they had found together, but also reading bits and pieces of werewolf lore, till he realised that he knew far more about his friend than the books could tell him. The truth was, though, that he was nervous (he wouldn't have said scared) of the full moon to come. Seeing Remus transform the month before had disturbed him more than he would admit to himself and he thought for a long time about what might cause Remus' change to be so different from his. He didn't feel like he could talk to Remus about it however. Remus was such a private person anyway, but when it came to anything to do with werewolves he would clam up completely, as unresponsive as stone.

The day of the full moon they left the main building early, Sirius following closely behind Remus in the Invisibility Cloak James had graciously left behind. Once they were in the tunnel they could just fit side by side as they walked and Sirius screwed up his courage to talk to Remus about such a touchy subject for him.

"I've been thinking…"

"Wow I'm impressed. Did it hurt?" The smile on his friends face took the sting out of the remark.

Sirius smiled back. "A little, but I think it was worth it." He paused, not sure of how to go on. "I've been thinking…about your transformations…"

Anger glared deep in Remus' eyes, but he kept the rest of his face a careful mask of indifference. Encouraged by not being punched Sirius quickly continued.

"See I was thinking why yours are so hard and ours aren't, and I was thinking…I mean you know that we didn't get to choose what animal we became? It was just the one we have most natural affinity with, yeah? Well what if you weren't supposed to be a wolf?"

Remus growled deep in his throat and they came into the house proper and headed for his room. Sirius took the warning and got to the point.

"Well your body would be fighting it the first couple of times, yeah? But you've been a werewolf for years so I was thinking that it should have got better…except you hate it so much, cos it's painful and stuff and so you fight it. What I'm saying is what if you _tried_ to become a wolf?"

Remus glanced at him in honest consideration as he started to take off his clothes. As an icy draft swept through the ancient house Sirius was glad that his clothes changed when he did.

"You really have been thinking." Remus said with a wide honest smile that made Sirius feel like maybe he wasn't the complete prat he'd always assumed he was. "You better change."

At Remus' command he quickly set his mind to the transformation and felt himself melt slowly into his new shape. His dog eyes made everything seem like an old film, planes of light and shade the only things that picked out Remus' naked form from the rest of the dark room, but to his sense of smell Remus was a solid as ever. No human form could fool his nose and Remus had a scent that said that he was a werewolf as clearly as if he had it tattooed on his forehead and soon enough the transformation started to prove him right. Despite his assurances to his friends he had no intention of leaving if Remus started hurting himself and crouched, ready to spring at the first sign of trouble.

But trouble never came. Aside from the odd cry of pain as a joint realigned itself the transformation was almost as smooth as his own and when it was complete Remus barked in greeting, frolicking shamelessly around Sirius and nipping at his fur in playful thanks. Sirius nipped back and soon they were tumbling round and round the room in play. They chased each other all over the Shack, barking and howling to each other. The mouse family had come back, but Sirius ceded them to Remus, his mind still too human to think of eating mice. Remus gave a flick of the ears that amounted to a shrug, ate them then licked Sirius' face in a long tendril of drool and darting out of the way before Sirius could retaliate.

All too soon the night was over and Remus howled in frustration. Thinking quickly, Sirius kept nudging till they were in Remus' room, complete with mattress and blanket, well aware that he would never be able to carry Remus carefully enough on his own. By that time the change was on him with a vengeance. Sirius got as close to him as he dared, nipping gently at his arms when they went to claw at his body, trying to remind him that he didn't need to fight it and unconsciously whining in sympathy. Finally Remus collapsed onto the mattress, panting and pouring with sweat at the effort it had taken him just to restrain himself. Still in his dog form, Sirius sidled onto the mattress with him and lay down, poking him with his nose. Remus rolled over and clutched desperately at his fur.

"You know it's almost harder not to fight being made to be human…"

Disturbed, but desperately needing to comfort his friend, Sirius was once again human, Remus still clinging tightly to his jumper, shivering. Sirius did a quick _Accio blanket_ and wrapped it round both of them as he began to feel the chill December cold as well. Remus seemed so vulnerable and before he had really thought what he was doing Sirius had his arms around the other boy and murmured meaningless comfort into his soft brown hair till he felt the hands loosen on his shirt and the boy's deep even breathing of sleep. At the unconscious whimper of protest when he tried to leave he settled himself more comfortably next to the taller boy's body, surprised at how they fit together so well, and joined him in sleep feeling safe and warm.


	3. Chapter 3

January

Sirius was acting weird – so was Remus. James couldn't put his finger on exactly how they were acting weird, but something weird was definitely going on. He'd caught Sirius just staring off into space thinking – since when did Sirius think? Oh, when he confronted him about it Sirius just said he was thinking of this map he'd had ideas for, and it did sound pretty cool, but James got the impression that there was more to it. On the other hand Remus had got all bold. Between the four of them he was just the same, but when Snape had made some crack about Sirius, Remus had snuck up behind him and hexed him so he grew boils all over his ass. It was funny as hell watching Snape trying to sit all through History of Magic and even better that he didn't even know Remus had done it, but it was so unlike Remus: he was supposed to be the one keeping them in line. When James had tried to ask Lily what she thought about it she had just smiled strangely and then said that if he couldn't guess it just proved he was a boy. He couldn't be too mad at her since she kissed him before she left, but still it annoyed the hell out of him! Luckily Peter wasn't any the wiser either, though James doubted he'd even noticed anything weird till it had been mentioned to him.

Now it was the night of the full moon and they were acting even weirder. Neither one would say anything without being prompted in the walk down the tunnel to the Shack, but James was thinking about other things. The last of Remus' transformations he had seen had scared the shit out of him and he wasn't looking forward to this one. Pete looked pale as they waited for the sun to set, as if he were thinking the same thing, but Sirius seemed as lost in thought as he had been for days. When the change finally came James was amazed at how easily Remus seemed to slip into his new form: he still whimpered and howled a bit but it didn't seem that bad at all. As soon as it was over Remus rubbed his muzzle along Sirius' in doggy greeting then gently touched noses with the other two as well.

That night everyone seemed subdued, they played a little and did the things they normally did, but no one really seemed in the mood for fun and frolics. Remus seemed distressed, pacing restlessly around the house as if looking for something, but not finding it. Sirius stayed out of the way mostly, watching Remus carefully and James began to think that they'd had an argument about something, but he was glad enough when the night was finally over. Remus bounded into his comfy room, Sirius racing after him. The change started and James moved forward to try and brace one of his arms at least with his antlers, that was until Sirius growled at him. Sirius had never growled at him before so fiercely and he stepped back as much in surprise as in acquiescing to him. Pete huddled in the corner in fear, but, like the change to wolf, the change back was surprisingly smooth and soon enough Sirius was wrapping him in a blanket and letting James help lay him down on the mattress. Once they were sure he was asleep and unhurt James looked at his watch.

"Shit! Come on guys we better get going or we're going to be late." James started to move off, but noticed Sirius wasn't following. "Come on Sirius! We gotta go and unless you want to try getting out of here without the cloak then you better hurry."

"Yeah coming," Sirius mumbled, but he was looking at Remus.

Sirius' sheets hated him. It was the only explanation he had left. They hated him and were determined to make him freeze. No matter how many blankets he badgered out of the house elves or how much he sweated under their weight he still felt cold. At first he had wondered whether he was coming down with something, but after a long month with no other symptoms he's decided it probably wasn't that: he just didn't know what it was.

It was two nights after the full moon and bright silver light still streamed in through a gap in the curtains when he finally gave in at two in the morning and got up to go and read for a bit in the common room. Slipping a pair of socks on to protect him from the cold stone stairs, he sneaked quietly out of the dorm room he shared with his four best friends only to find one of them had beaten him to it.

Remus was sat in front of the fire in the common room and greeted him with a casual "Can't sleep?" as he came down the stairs.

"Yeah. I don't know what it is but I've been barely able to sleep for ages now."

"Ah well, I can never sleep that well at night this close to a moon. How do you think I get all my homework done so quickly?"

Sirius tried to match Remus smile, but was afraid he fell short. He'd felt so odd recently around Remus. He was the fire; so bright and warming he felt drawn towards him, but beaten back by the brilliance when he got to close.

Suddenly Remus yawned and Sirius felt cheated to have so little time to bask in his presence, though he had already run out of things to say. He almost sighed in relief when Remus settled down, curled like a dog, in front of the fire.

"I don't want to wake the guys twice. Wake me when you go back up and I'll come with you."

Sirius managed to mumble out a "sure Ok," before Remus closed his eyes and sighed in contented sleep. Watching him lying there, the glow of the fire turning the sleeping figure's skin to gold Sirius felt warmer than he had in a long time. Drowsiness suddenly washed over him, too powerful to ignore and he lay down for a moment next to his friend on the rug in front of the fire. Sleep clouding his thoughts Sirius looked at the sleeping figure, so beautiful in the dancing light, so strong and wise and caring, he felt his heart swell and wondered what he had done to have such a truly magnificent person in his life.

He wasn't sure at what point in the night Remus had rolled over to face him. Neither was he sure exactly when he had thrown an arm around the other boy, but he woke to find, Remus' still sleeping forehead pressed gently against his, his arm pulling them close so their bodies touched, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. His first thought shot up his spine in a decidedly un-platonic fashion, making him gasp. At the sound Remus sleepily opened his eyes, pulling his head back just enough so they could look at each other without their eyes crossing. For a second the tableau froze as they considered each other and Sirius was sure that if Remus were to pull away his world would shatter. Instead he merely lifted on eyebrow and smiled, the sincere warmth making a dopey grin spring to Sirius own face. Sighing contently Remus wrapped his own arm round Sirius' waist and snuggle in closer again.

For a moment Sirius actually thought he might throw up at the sheer joy he felt. He had no idea anyone could be this accepting of him, or that he had wanted it so badly. He felt like giggling, like shouting, like staying like this forever, but he settled for kissing the top of Remus' head, smelling his shampoo and the smell that his doggy senses had told him was the heady scent of the werewolf known as Remus. Remus pulled away just enough to look at him and smiled a smile so beautiful Sirius had to have it. He leaned in the tiny distance and covered those beautiful lips with his own, feeling Remus tense at first then respond hungrily, his hot tongue invading Sirius' mouth and making him melt. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own, tentatively exploring the other boy's sinewy frame, stroking a hip, his back and finally rising to caress the hair at the nape of his neck. Remus moaned so softly Sirius could barely hear it, but he felt the vibration against his lips like lava and pressed himself even closer while Remus cupped his jaw and clutched at his chest with a hand trapped tightly between them.

Suddenly they heard a gasp and a series of thumps, and with it the real world came crashing back down. The broke apart, gazing at each other for a moment in communion before sitting up and looking towards the stairs.

James was sat at the bottom of the stairs, wide-eyed in shock. He didn't seem to be angry, but Sirius wasn't sure what to expect. James' family were pretty traditional, but as he desperately searched his mind for some clue of what his best friend might think he realised he just didn't know what to do.

Remus did. "James? Are you alright?"

For a moment he looked confused as if sound shouldn't exist in this new world, then he tentatively stood. "I think I broke my ass sliding down the stairs."

The silence only held for a moment after that before they all collapsed laughing, erupting again when James tried to sit with them on the rug, only to jump up with a squeal and sit on the nice soft sofa.

When the laughter finally died down Sirius felt better. "Seriously mate, are you alright with this?"

He suspected James would have rather have forgotten about it altogether as he sat in thought for a moment.

"I don't know." He sighed in exasperation. "I'm sorry guys. I think I will be but this is kind of a shock you know. I mean…two guys…" he grimaced, "it's weird, you know?" He paused, debating whether to continue. "How long have…you know?"

"We haven't," Remus answered, "I mean, apart from tonight. I mean we slept together last full moon after I changed back, but just slept honestly and then things got weird and then-"

"Ok I don't need to know the details!" James put up a hand to stop him. Silence reigned.

Sirius looked at James. "We still friends?"

James goggled. "What! Of course! I mean you're still you right, and I know I'm still me so why wouldn't I be?"

Sirius laughed at the shear joy of it all, giggling all the more as Remus threw his arms round him, and James groaned in embarrassment. Just for that Sirius dived for James, planting tiny kisses all over him until he started laughing too, squealing that it wasn't fair to tease a guy with a broken ass.

When they finally stood to go get ready for breakfast Sirius pulled Remus aside and let James go on ahead.

"Sleep with me tonight."

"You couldn't stop me." Remus smiled and kissed him before racing up the stairs to beat him to the shower.

3


End file.
